Here’s the deal. There’s really nothing wrong with Apple. Just like there’s nothing wrong with the New York Yankees.

Do the Yankees want to be the best?

Of course.

Do the Yankees pay for the best (or the perceived best)?

Absolutely.

Do the Yankees have an insufferable fan base in every corner of the Universe who have an undying allegiance to the team and will root any decision or product on the field for better or worse?

Unfortunately, yes.

And this is what makes the analogy really work for me. As stupid as this may sound, I hate Yankees because of their fans. I hate the Yankees exponentially more than the ridiculous team management decisions and personnel strategies because, frankly, their fans, on the whole, are front-running, band-wagon-riding, non-New-Yorker douches. That may be pretty ineloquent but it’s dead-in-the-crosshairs accurate.

Now, take that paradigm and apply it to Apple and you’ll be closer to understanding my innate distaste of Apple than any therapist.

Irrational? Maybe. I can live with that.

What I can't live with are the a) Apple sheeple and b) the rabid fanboys/girls. There is world outside of your little ecosystem and it's pretty decent. Your iPhone may have been the game-changer in 2007 but we've moved on. The margin is now much smaller. The players are playing and, sadly, your leader's gone. Let's just tap the brakes on Apple being the "best" of anything and all the "it just works" rhetoric. It's tired.

I can live with Apple’s existence from the shear standpoint of competition. Push Google to be better. Push Microsoft to…find itself? Push Facebook to…do something? Push the start-ups. In fact, you start to combine Siri AI technology with what Google’s doing with self-driving cars, I think you’re going to be shocked at the direction in which humans have pushed the race.

Yes, Thermonuclear annihilation.

Here we go. "Hope is not a strategy," as they say. I will be working on 2,500 words per day starting November 1st. By the time I'm done, I'm going to need counselling from an editor. And, a tall glass of Scotch.

For those who've never heard of it, head here.

It's no secret that I've never been an Apple fan. It's not for lack of trying or appreciation. The first computer that I ever remember in the house was an Apple IIe. I guess that was '83 or '84.

We moved on to a Windows-based machine later. I have no idea if it was an IBM or "PC clone." But, the transformation was made and we never had another Apple.

It wasn't until I went to Baylor that I started using Macs again. This was before the days of the ubiquitous laptop. I had a PC in my dorm room but all over campus were these Power Mac 4000 series that you could check your email on. Some of us still have our Baylor.edu addresses some 10 years later (Brian???).

I continued to use Macs at my work-study job at Baylor's Media Lab. This was a center where faculty and staff could come work on projects with assistance from smart-ass lackeys like myself. I remember doing some rudimentary photo-scanning and editing in 1999. I also created a database in FileMaker for a music history prof who wanted to catalog his classical music CD collection. Fun stuff, let me tell you. All done on a Mac.

So far, so good. Meanwhile, back at the Hankamer (controversially pronounced HAN-kam-er, not HANK-a-mer) School of Business we were cranking out our TPS Report Projects in the computer lab on Compaq Presarios (or some approximation). It suited us b-schoolers well: MS Office suite, training module authoring, SAS. You know, the usual suspects. That lab was probably all donated by Arthur Andersen anyway, which had a tight recruiting relationship with Baylor in those days. That is before they went all Enron and re-birthed as Accenture. I had enough exposure that my college brain was being rapidly wired for compatibility with Windows PCs.

Early in my career I used, built and supported PCs and Windows-based laptops. At home, I enjoyed casually tinkering with my own PC and upgrading it from time-to-time. I never saw any reason to spend the money to switch to a expensive, secretive computer company that wouldn't allow me to crack open a case without violating every contract they had ever conceived. I stick with my sandbox, thank you very much.

And, the marketing. Oh, the marketing. I'll never forget a particular exchange my roommates Winston and Matthew had over that famous late-90s Apple tagline: Think different. Winston explained that it was a concept. Think: Different. Like, think: wow! Only, Matthew-whose-mother-was-an-English-teacher would have none of it. "No way. It should be 'Think differently.' It's a adverb. They got it wrong." And, that was that. However, I never forgot the tagline so marketing must work. In hindsight, I'm wondering if Think different was the best that Apple could do. Were their products really that similar to Windows-based machines at the time?


It wasn't until the invention of the iPod that I really remember fans starting to come out the woodwork because then it was like crack just got distributed to the masses. "We'll give you a taste and get you hooked. Then, you'll come for our computers." Jobs had been back for a few years (from Pixar) and the Apple machine was really rocking. They ratcheted up the advertising and churned out some home-run products. There was no doubt that they were a quality company but the appeal to be cool by owning their stuff was a little obnoxious.

My "first" apple product in years was a 1st-generation iPod Mini. I played that thing until it died. No kidding. I modded it with a better battery and increased the memory and it finally croaked. It barely held together from my repeated breaches into its innards. I still have the carcass in a drawer somewhere. Saving it for the grand kids. I promptly replaced it with an 5th-gen iPod Nano. Fantastic music player. I bought a plastic shell for it and it's in pristine condition. I still use it in the car to listen to podcasts. Then, came the iPhone and that's when it all changed for me. But, that's for another post. Watch this...