Best part of Man of Steel. Man of Steel Review
The story about how Maximus from Gladiator and a lady who looks like she smokes give birth to Christopher Reeves, Jr. on a dying Star Wars/Avatar planet. A weird council is trying to save geological calamity through diplomacy when a rogue General Zod barges in and starts shooting up the place and espousing his pro-Hitler views. Fast forward to SuperBaby being shot in to space and landing on earth smack in the middle of Ray Kinsella's Field of Dreams farm. He and his wife, not-Sally-Field, raise the boy but tell him to hide who he really is thus telegraphing to savvy viewers the Superman-is-Gay undertones. Clark-Kal-Superman goes on a bunch of Bruce Banner adventures, holding down different jobs in different parts of Canada until he doesn't turn into the Hulk and gets discovered by Plot Device-I mean-Lois Lane. Lois and Supe battle Michael Shannon Zod, whose mustache never grew in after space travel, and they try to stay away from his mouth as he chews the scenery.
There is a part where Ray Kinsella/Johnny Kent dies in a tornado around the year 1997 which is probably when the tornadoes from Twister (1996) came back for their revenge on Bill Paxton and Helen Hunt but went to wrong the state. The third act is nothing but a video game sequence where Zod/Superman re-enact a Bizzaro World 9/11, by just flying around and knocking buildings down on untold millions of innocents yet, for some reason, we only see Morpheus from the Matrix try to save a scared Indian lady and the bald guy who hits on everyone at back at the office. Oh, and Lois still pops up occasionally to move the story along. In the very end, we get some cheap humor from terrible extra about Superman being "kinda hot."
If you like superhero movies, Christ allegories, and billions in collateral damage, this is the one for you. I just had one question: where is Neo when you need him?
The story about how Maximus from Gladiator and a lady who looks like she smokes give birth to Christopher Reeves, Jr. on a dying Star Wars/Avatar planet. A weird council is trying to save geological calamity through diplomacy when a rogue General Zod barges in and starts shooting up the place and espousing his pro-Hitler views. Fast forward to SuperBaby being shot in to space and landing on earth smack in the middle of Ray Kinsella's Field of Dreams farm. He and his wife, not-Sally-Field, raise the boy but tell him to hide who he really is thus telegraphing to savvy viewers the Superman-is-Gay undertones. Clark-Kal-Superman goes on a bunch of Bruce Banner adventures, holding down different jobs in different parts of Canada until he doesn't turn into the Hulk and gets discovered by Plot Device-I mean-Lois Lane. Lois and Supe battle Michael Shannon Zod, whose mustache never grew in after space travel, and they try to stay away from his mouth as he chews the scenery.
There is a part where Ray Kinsella/Johnny Kent dies in a tornado around the year 1997 which is probably when the tornadoes from Twister (1996) came back for their revenge on Bill Paxton and Helen Hunt but went to wrong the state. The third act is nothing but a video game sequence where Zod/Superman re-enact a Bizzaro World 9/11, by just flying around and knocking buildings down on untold millions of innocents yet, for some reason, we only see Morpheus from the Matrix try to save a scared Indian lady and the bald guy who hits on everyone at back at the office. Oh, and Lois still pops up occasionally to move the story along. In the very end, we get some cheap humor from terrible extra about Superman being "kinda hot."
If you like superhero movies, Christ allegories, and billions in collateral damage, this is the one for you. I just had one question: where is Neo when you need him?
RSS Feed